Foreword
When I am craving clarity about the nuanced dimensions of my inner life, I do one of two things: a. phone a soul sister (one adept at asking good questions and generous enough to listen well as I speak into what is going on) or b. I write (often in threads, incomplete sentences, something resembling poetry)

 

The latter, the practice of writing into understanding, has been with me the longest. For as long as I can remember, I have carried journal with me. Journals are the most patient of confidantes and the best keepers of secrets & dreams.

 

In the late Summer, as I was readying the new “In the Flesh” Series – our year long exploration here at The Wild Woman Project – I wrote a lot. And this poem came through as I was contemplating how women have been treated as though they are objects, treated as though their bodies belong to the world. As a survivor of childhood sexual assault, there has been and is – so much to explore here. As I wrote, the poem became both a reclamation of my own body & a celebration of the world’s largest untapped resource: Women.

 

I know I am not alone in feeling the transformative power that these past couple of weeks have coaxed out of our collective consciousness – with the rise of the #metoo movement. Something very real is happening through the sharing and witnessing of these stories. The truth is being unveiled, women are rising – together, and people are feeling a lot.

 

This is not the beginning of this process, and it is nowhere near the end. I am full of hope for what is possible and faith in the alchemical process that is taking place collectively.

 

So, on this Friday, Waxing Quarter Moon, I offer you this poem, from my heart to yours, my body to yours:

 

We Live Here

 

I was born here
right here
in this skin.

 

These nerves
this blood
this heart right here
has been beating
feeling
moving
from the inside
since the beginning
of me.

 

Since I lived
in the body
of my mother.

 

At some point
way back when
up until 15 minutes ago
you told me
I was too much
and not enough
of this or that.
And that you better
show me how to be
how to feel
how to live
and how to think

 

Since I was a little girl,
with Spirit to spare,
a ponytail
and long golden brown legs,
you told me,
I was
irresistibly sexy and undeniably sinful –
a whore, a slut, easy, asking for it.

 

You told me
I was to be ashamed
of myself.

 

You told me
I was
Too emotional, too sensitive,
crazy, bitchy, naggy.

 

You taught me
one violation at a time
that My body
was something that could be spoken about freely by anyone,
anywhere,
without consequence.

 

You taught me
one demeaning experience after another,
that my body could be touched in whatever way pleased you,

 

And I better shut up and take it.

 

You taught me
one abuse at a time
that my body was yours to beat down –
with your belt,
with your words,
With your legislation.

 

And after all that
you told me
I was
too
angry.

 

It is no secret
you’ve violated,
raped,
disrespected,
objectified,
and profited off of
the body of the earth
in the
Very
Same
Way
you tried to rip apart,
use,
And commodify
the body of me.

 

Enough.

 

This is the sound of the door closing.

 

This is my house
I live here
My flesh
My feelings
My choices
My blood
My magic.

 

I live here.

 

And everyday
As you stand outside
Shouting your obscenities
Disguised as beauty advice
I get stronger by moving
All the way
back
in.

 

This is my house
I live here.

 

And every hour
as you bang on the walls
with your theories of “too much”
my cells begin to reverberate
with the mystery living in me.

 

Because you see:
This is my house
And I live here.

 

You may stand outside
Peddling your poison.
Meanwhile, I will be
Right here
In my skin
In my house
Remembering
What it feels like to live in
These wide hips.

 

I will be teaching myself
How to trust my gut again
Which jiggles and shakes
with power
you have not yet seen.

 

I will be deep inside
allowing
the ocean of feelings
Which ebb and flow inside,
Never drowning me,
Always clearing a path.

 

As your reign of tyranny
Burns to the ground
You will worry
What will we do?
How will this end?
How will we live now?

 

And just when you think
All hope is lost
The bodies of Women will rise up
From the ash
Whole
Once again
Full
Of the truth of themselves.

 

And those Women,
Those bodies,
Will lead the way,
Healing the planet
And all its children.

 

Because this is our world
We live here.

 

Your Turn
This is an invitation to write your own poem – about your body, your experience with #metoo, whatever would feed you. And feel free to leave it in the comments below. We would love to read what is on your heart.
Deepest Love,
C

 

 

On the Horizon

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