How many times a day do you size yourself up against other women?

A colleague or co-worker, A neighbor, a friend, an acquaintance, an actress, a teacher, a model…

“She’s thinner than me, but I’m way smarter.”
“Ugh…why does he want her and not me?”
“I’m totally the most successful woman in this room.”
“Why does she have so many followers? I don’t get it.”
“I’m so jealous!”
And so forth.

This epidemic of comparison and competition between women is written into the fabric of our culture. You can’t flip a channel or turn on your computer without seeing 2 women in a so called cat fight or subtly comparing/competing to be the best, the sexiest, the most lovable, the biggest success.

We have largely been taught that other women are not to be trusted and are our direct competition for work, love and beauty. And if we are honest with ourselves, most can relate with the feeling of either inadequacy or superiority in many of our relationships with other women. Even women like us (who love our sisters) can struggle with this nagging sense of comparison.

This is changing. It is! Think Tina and Amy. There is a rise of what I refer to as Sisterhood. The definition of this word can mean so many different things. Here’s how I mean it:

Sisterhood:

A state of collaboration and genuine support in relationships between women. Connection as deep as family.

One of the covert aims of this Wild Woman Work is to heal our relationships with one another. Re-instating trust, collaboration, support, and love as in the villages of old.

At this point in my life, when I think of another woman, I think sister.
Mary Magdalene? Sister.
Miley Cirus? Sister.
Grocery Store Clerk? Sister.
My Hunny’s ex? Sister.
Other Women Doing Circle Work? Sister.

I can’t tell you what holding these women as sisters does for my well-being. Sometimes this perception comes with great ease, other times it is very much a practice (A practice I advocate).

Earlier this Month at the Reclaiming Sisterhood Workshop in NYC, we gathered around this mission of exploring our personal relationship to sisterhood and the blocks we have against it. As always, each of us went deep and gained major clarity.

I know we can’t all be in the room together, so I made a little sisterhood practice for you (for the men folk, read brotherhood).

Sisterhood Truth and Dare:

Truth:
Is it possible that you are not in competition with the women in your life?
Is it possible that we all have our own paths, bodies and opportunities for a reason?
Is it possible that literally no one can take something/someone that is truly meant for you?

And here’s the big mama jama:
Can you lift the illusion of competition and shift from Comparison to Comrade?

Dare for the week:
1. Every time you see a sister (another woman), silently bless her.
2. When you feel yourself comparing, place a hand on your heart to remind you this is a comrade, a sister

This practice of sisterhood doesn’t require you to be BFF’s with every woman you meet, it just means that you are wholeheartedly rooting for the highest good of each of your sisters. No Exceptions.

In the comments section, let me know if you are playing/practicing sisterhood this week!

With much much love,

C

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