WHEN DREAMS MUST DIE

IN THIS ISSUE:

Dreams Change.

As we are crafting lives anchored in authenticity we are often motivated by our vision(s) for the future. In fact, every new moon here at TWWP, we revisit our visions for the life we wish to create. If we are paying attention, we can notice an evolution in our thinking, planning, and dreaming, moon by moon.

There is a phenomenon that happens as we evolve and our path unfolds: dreams change. Perhaps that dream, once made rich with vivid magnetism, now seems uninspiring and lifeless.

Here, a patient inquiry is needed. We must ask ourselves, what is really going on here?

Here are a couple of things that may be needed:
#1-The dream could need your attention, energy, focus. Perhaps the vision has gone untended. With some care, (and perhaps the help of a therapist, coach, guide), you may be able to resuscitate it. Perhaps there is a shift you can make that will bring it back to life.

#2-Upon reflection, you may realize that this dream is not the dream of your current self. You may realize you’ve been living in accordance with a dream drafted a decade ago when you were a very different person.

In the case of #2, this can be a tough moment. Something once loved, must be laid to rest.

Grace, or not.

In my life, when big dreams have expired, there has always been a mourning period. And often, it ain’t pretty. I’ve kicked and screamed and resisted the dying of dream. Mostly because I am an achiever, for better or worse. Saying I’m going to do something, overcoming obstacles, and getting it done, is my natural rhythm-my constant.

So, when I say I’d going to do something (even if it’s just to myself) and I change my mind, the achiever in me is no less than HORRIFIED.

I mean, the wise version of myself will say:
Okay we recognize this dream must be laid to rest. Let’s mourn & then look to the horizon and calmly ask: What is the new dream?

Not so fast, my achiever interrupts, Let me throw a fit first.

Exhibit A
From the time I was 10 years old I wanted to move to New York City. From the suburbs of Houston, NYC held for me so much promise: culture, art, creativity, passion, youth, like minds. My longing to live there only got stronger with each and every year. The day I left my father’s house to board a plane to NYC, I didn’t shed a single tear. I was 18 and absorbed in the glory of living out my first beautiful dream.

I came of age in New York City. For a decade I had the most thrilling and excruciating experiences. My dream of the city and its promise had led me away from my southern upbringing and into the wilderness of the North East. It was all the wonderful things people who love New York have said and the worse things too.
But nothing was as tough for me as the fading of my New York dream. 8 years in, NYC was wearing on me, as it tends to do, but I held on for old times sake.

Eventually, I couldn’t ignore the inner changes. I had to take stock. It became crystal clear: I had outgrown my dream of being there. It no longer suited who I was and what I was seeking.

Over the next year and a half I had the most graceless exit from NYC you can imagine. I attempted to move to California and quickly came back. I tried on a couple more boroughs, nope. And practically on accident stumbled upon the Berkshire Hills of Massachusetts, a 2 hour drive from NYC. A place that had never crossed my ears or mind, save that James Taylor line: the Berkshires seem dream like on account of their frostin.’  I went for a visit and fell in love. With the beauty of the new land & dream of a new life in my heart, I finally left NYC.

The good news is, despite my resistance, I now happily live in an area that suits who I am now: a nature lover, spiritual seeker (you can through a rock without hitting a yoga studio or healing center), a creative (there is tons of art and culture & plenty of permission for the solitude needed for creation), community builder (this place is full of magical people who gather in the most interesting ways!). It is my beloved home base.

From the vantage point of the present, I see the evolutionary way my dreams grew me up, schooled me, gave me tools & prepared me for the life I am living now, and of course, the life that is coming.

A dream died & once I was done kicking and screaming about it, I blossomed.

Letting the boosters go, in favor of the rocket.

The laying of dreams to rest is an under discussed topic, in my opinion. Perhaps that is because the achiever in us is holding onto shame? Or maybe it hurts too much to talk about our long lost friends, our dreams? I mean, I spoke here about my NYC dream that died not because it was the only dream let go, but because it’s the one that has lost the sting of grief.  

As with most things, honesty and vulnerability with oneself & others hold magic in it. Maybe we can dare to talk about those gone dreams even if it’s just in our art or our journals.

So, if there is a dream that you are thinking about letting go, may this help.
If you are currently in a mourning period, may this comfort.
And if you are kicking & screaming, may faith in the inevitable blossoming ease you.

Remember, dear ones, every death is liberation too.

Join us for an hour-long New Moon Meditation Adventure on December 30th!

Online, from anywhere.

Using a dynamic meditation journey, we will tune into the New Moon, to your own Inner Guidance, synced up with wild-hearted women from around the world. This offering will include music, storytelling, meditation, journaling prompts & intention-setting.

Can’t make it live? No worries. All participants will receive a copy of the recording with 24 hours of the session.

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