31 Things I Know

First my Pre-list, list…

I made this list for 3 reasons:

1. I got a phone call today from one of our dear Wild Woman Circle Leaders, Samantha “Sammy” Midler, who left a message that really moved me. She explained that in her family, on the day before someone’s birthday, her mother calls and leaves them a message reminding the that this is the last day they will be that age – ever. She encourages them to reflect on all they have learned and achieved during the course of the year. Sammy included me in her family tradition by leaving me that sweet message. It made me cry & think (one of my favorite combinations). Tomorrow is my birthday. I write this on my last day of being 31 years old.

2. At last year’s WILD WOMAN FEST, we did a ritual on the night of the Full Moon where we chose a word that we wanted to bring forward in us, a word we wanted to embody in the year ahead. For example: Playfulness or Grounding or Intuition. You get the idea. The word I chose was Knowing, with a capital “K”. This is a list of things I have come to fully know during the ripe age of 31.

3. I love reading lists & I hope you do to.

31 Things I Know

(in no particular order)

  1. There are basically 2 ways to look at something or someone: A. Like you’ve seen ‘em/it before & B. Like you have not. Seeing like the latter takes some practice, but if you can do it, life becomes way more magical (i.e- the beautiful & tender livingness of everything that is becomes apparent).
  2. Sometimes it takes a while for the physical world to reflect the truth of your inner Knowing. Remember that time you had a feeling/instinct/intuition about something or someone and you talked yourself out of it? Remember how you needed more and more “proof”? Remember how, in the end, your feeling/instinct/intuition turned out to be correct? Yeah, me too.
  3. Deep Pleasure is the sweet healing balm of the Feminine. Never underestimate its power to transform you.
  4. This one instruction from your 1st grade teacher will help you be happy & true: Keep your eyes on your own paper.
  5. You can always be the Queen of your own experience. You rule, no matter how untrue that can feel at times. No matter what you are doing or going through, keep your invisible crown on and you will be the Queen of your life.
  6. It is very important to have at least 2 people in your life that you can call at 3am on a Wednesday when you need to. You must also be that person to at least 2 others. You will not be able to be this person for everyone & not every one can be this person for you. AND that’s okay.
  7. You will never please everyone.
  8. Oil pulling is sort of gross, but kind of life changing. Google it. I prefer using Coconut Oil.
  9. There is a time for reflecting on life & a time for living it. It’s important to have space for both of these. These days I tend to reflect for about 25% and live it for 75%. Those figures have drastically shifted in the past year (it used to be 50/50).
  10. Celebrating life on a daily basis makes you happier. Examples: Candles at dinner, throwing a random get together with friends or family, seeing a music show, making something beautiful, skipping down the street.
  11. It’s totally okay if people think what you are doing is “crazy”. Frankly, it’s kind of thrilling.
  12. Dancing is embodied liberation. The more you do it, the more your physical body remembers that you are, in fact, free.
  13. Choose collaborators very carefully.
  14. Hold onto your plans with a gentle grip. It is often important to start with a plan. It is even more important to know that you plan will need to be reworked, if not thrown out all together. The better you get at making plans & being willing to change them, the more graceful & exciting the creative process of your life will become.
  15. Admitting to yourself that you are not perfect and never will be is the greatest gift you will ever give to yourself!
  16. No one is perfect. (Even that person you think is perfect.)
  17. It is silly to wait for permission to do what you’ve come here to do.
  18. Cultivating your inner Knowing is essential. There are so many tools that help you cultivate your inner Knowing (i.e- Meditation, Journaling, Rock Climbing, Standing on your head, etc)! Some of them have been passed down through the ages, others can be invented by you. Try them on, see what fits & then USE THEM.
  19. The heart has the space to hold so much more than we imagine. We can be wildly in love & grieving the loss of something/someone – at the same time. The heart has the space to hold so much more than we imagine.
  20. It is okay to ask for help.
  21. It is possible to forgive, even if no apology has been uttered.
  22. Biting off more than you can chew is worth it sometimes. And as one of my teachers, Fay Simpson, advised me recently: Biting off too much? You just have to chew longer:)
  23. Perseverance (steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success) is a word that my generation needs to write on the walls of our hearts.
  24. The revolution will not happen over night & it will require perseverance (and heart).
  25. Go to the party.
  26. Just make sure you come back home & get to work.
  27. Work is best done as an act of devotion.
  28. Every person you meet has buried treasure inside of them. When you see their treasure, they begin to feel it too.
  29. True listening is life changing for all involved. Try not give advice unless the person asks for it. Instead, as one of my Sufi mentors, Khabira Brown, once said to a group of us: Be a heart with ears.
  30. There are times to leap and times to stay put. Cultivating your inner Knowing will help you to know the difference.
  31. We are made of stardust & love.

Thank you for reading. If you should ever make a list like this, I hope you share it in the comments below. xo

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