Step One: Set the Mood
Carve out some time for yourself. Silence your phone. Make a cup of tea. Light a candle. Tune into your breath. Feel into your heart space. Allow yourself to be present, see if you can quiet your “to do” list. Set the Mood in the way that works for you.
As always, please do not skip this step. This is your foreplay, and we all know the importance of foreplay. These actions signal to the deepest parts of yourself that now is a safe time to emerge and to communicate with you.
Step Two: Reflect on Responsibility
I recommend doing this in one of two ways. You may decide to close your eyes, soften, and meditate on these questions OR you may decide you’d like to write your thoughts on paper. If you choose to write, I recommend writing continuously without stopping or in a brainstorming fashion. This greatly helps to dig deeper and stay away from trying to create any type of polished product.
Contemplate your relationship with Responsibility. You can do this in any way that works for you, or you can explore some of the following questions:
~ How does the word Responsibility make you feel?
~ What are the first thoughts/ images that come when hearing the word responsibility?
~ What is your first memory of being taught responsibility?
~ Growing up, how was responsibility instilled in you? Were you punished for being irresponsible? Was the word responsibility weaponized to rob you of freedom? Were you rewarded for being responsible?
~ In your mind, what does someone who is responsible look like? How do they act?
~ Do you ever judge others for being irresponsible?
~ What makes these people irresponsible to you? (Do they hold alternative jobs? Do they have financial struggles? etc.)
Step Three: Take Inventory of your Current Responsibilities & Freedoms
After completing step two, I recommend doing something clearing before moving onto step three. This can be taking a short break, moving physical locations, taking a few deep breaths and clearing your mind. Take a moment here to freshen your state of being before moving forward. You’ve likely just dug up a lot of past thoughts and feelings and it will serve you well to move into the next step with openness.
Once you’re ready, spend some time naming or writing down 3-5 of your highest priority responsibilities. (Going to work/ school. Paying bills/ student loans. Car/ home maintenance. etc)
What is your initial reaction upon thinking of these responsibilities? Each one may bring up something different for you. Do you feel proud? Excited? Dreadful?
Now, I’m going to ask you to contemplate a big question here:
How do your responsibilities = the freedom to do what is most important to you?
See if you can search down to the heart of the WHY in these responsibilities. Spending extra time thinking of responsibilities that are especially challenging for you might be a fruitful exploration.
You may find it helpful to do a combo of meditation and drawing/ writing what comes up.
Your exploration might look like this:
picking up more hours at work = freedom to fulfill my dream of traveling
cleaning, organizing and decluttering my room = freedom to build a meditation corner to support my meditation practice
maintenance on my car = freedom to be mobile how & when I want to be
sticking to a daily schedule = freedom to spend my free time however I want and be guilt free about it
Step Four: Perspective Shift & a Closing Thought
This is a sort of living and flowing intention: As you move through the remainder of the Moon Cycle and beyond see what happens if you practice the intention of looking at your responsibilities as freedoms. What changes? What resistance are you met with? Can you move through that? If not, why? Do you find more joy in your responsibilities? How does finding joy in your responsibilities ultimately change your day to day life?
If after doing this ritual, you truly cannot find any connection from a responsibility to a freedom – I’m going to dare to ask you: do you really need to continue fulfilling this responsibility? Maybe you don’t? As Danielle LaPorte once said, “everything currently on your plate is there because at some point you said yes to it”. Can you prune your responsibilities to gain freedom?
Maybe you really, really cannot. Having the opportunity to prune your responsibilities is a great privilege that I acknowledge is not always possible. Sometimes, we are dealt a situation in which our survival relies on certain responsibilities in which we find no freedom. I see that. I feel that. My hope is that we might be able to look further into the future and vision a way to create freedom, together.
Loved this Amanda !!!
Mara! I’m so glad you found this useful! ♥️
“Can you prune your responsibilities to gain freedom?
Maybe you really, really cannot. Having the opportunity to prune your responsibilities is a great privilege that I acknowledge is not always possible. Sometimes, we are dealt a situation in which our survival relies on certain responsibilities in which we find no freedom. I see that. I feel that. My hope is that we might be able to look further into the future and vision a way to create freedom, together.”
Beautifully put. This lit an idea candle for me and brought some more light to the day. Thank you for expressing this and making it public.
Leah, so glad this resonated and you felt the heart in this. It is such a privileged to be able to do the work that we do, and I think it’s so important to recognize and honor that. 🙏 ♥️
Planning on doing this while checking out the eclipse later! Also, “everything currently on your plate is there because at some point you said yes to it” really stuck with me and is going to be on my mind for a while. Thank you for sharing this!! <3
Ashley, so excited for you to dig in! I’m glad that line resonated with you. I read it quite a few years ago and have come back to it many times. I’m sure there are many of us who just keep saying “yes” when we really need to say “no”. <3