I believe the unfolding of life is always teaching us, always. Some lessons come quick and easy in a flash, but most, at least for me, unfold through a longer, more rigorous, often repetitive series a moments wherein life hits me over the head relentlessly until I get it.
So, on this, the last day of the great transformative year of 2020, I have written out a short list of answers to the question, What have you learned this year?, as a way of identifying & sorting out the treasure from the rich chaos of experience this year has offered up. I’ve plucked out my favorites and have chosen a song to go with each. In some cases, hearing the song this year, was part of how I received the lesson.
This is the next step in a process I started in my last writing exercise, “Moments of Meaning: a 2020 Memory Collage”. I know many of you decided to take that one on for yourself and I invite you to join me, if you like, in this one. This is something you could write in your journal or ask your friends and family members to share about, together, this New Year’s Eve.
Here goes.
1.
Quiet moments, when allowed to unfold, can be the most beautiful, the most meaningful, even if you cannot quite name the precise meaning.
“And it’s hard to write about being happy, cause the older I get, I find that happiness is an extremely uneventful subject.
There will be no grand choirs to sing, no chorus will come in about two people sitting doing nothing.”
2.
This flesh, these bones, this heart & mind, this little living thing called me will not go on for ever like this, and while it does, I want to take care. To know that exercise – walking in the woods – is not a have to, but a deeply want to as it is my practice – body, mind, heart & soul.
“So when all we have left is each other’s song, and unknotted curls, and clammy hands,
We can rejoice and dance for having loved our skin so well,
For having found finally at the end a healthy way to hold.”
3.
Death, one of the only experiences guaranteed us in this life, will come over and over again, for those we love best, and one day, for us. 2020 reminded me of this several times a day. Looking death in the eyes, over and over and over and over again, has fundamentally changed the way I live.
“And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying, and he said, Someday I hope you get the chance, To live like you were dying.”
4.
Pour your love right where you are – fully and without reservation. There is no better place, no more perfect moment, to love. To love costs nothing, it is a renewable resource we have access to at any moment and every place. Every person, every living being, and every single moment needs more of it. 2020 has proved to me the alchemical power love has to turn pain into beauty, ignorance into understanding, devastation into inspiration.
“Lovin’ every night and day, lovin’ all our troubles away, We gon’ love like there’s no tomorrow.”
5.
Decolonization & Anti Racism requires a reckoning at the level of consciousness & at the level of material conditions, internally & externally, psychologically & structurally, personally & politically, alone & together. It is big work, brave work, deep work & is among the most important work of our lifetime. There is no one way to do the work, but many. It is love’s work of which we can all be a part, if we want to.
“I have a voice. Started out a whisper, turned into a scream. Made a beautiful noise, shoulder to shoulder, marching in the street. When you’re all alone, it’s a quiet breeze, but when you band together, it’s a choir, of thunder and rain, Now we have a choice, ’Cause I have a voice.”
6.
Goals are overrated. In the adventure of life, goals are a point on the map, so you know which direction to walk, but the walking is the thing. The way we walk, that is, the way we live one moment into the next, month by month, year by year, is far more important than that one rare day we reach a goal. 2020 has really put my personal ambitions in their rightful place, in the back of my mind, and for that I am so grateful.
7.
I learned to fish this year, thanks to my babe. Out of the void of normal activity, came an invitation to find new things to do outside. I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed it: The quiet it calls for, the focused suteraneaan sensing necessary to do it well, and what I suspect is some kind of ancestral connection to the sport. As a conscious carnivore, the spiritual connection of gratitude and honor for the fish I catch to eat has been profound. And also, it’s fun! What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good time.
“I betcha’ goin’ fishin’ all o’ the time. Baby goin’ fishin’ too. Bet you life, your sweet wife is gonna catch more fish than you.”
8.
As frequently as you can, do whatever it is that lands you in the liminal space between the spiritual and the material. For me it is ritual, song, quality conversation, hiking, writing. Identify it, name it, and do it every single day. This act is a form of joyful recalibration in the balance between spirit and body.
“Times I feel I wanna shout, man it’s real that way, when I think of things that make you feel that way.”
9.
With the right inner framing, every act, every word, every glance, every breath can be held as a sacred service – to those we love, to the Earth, to life itself. To walk through life in sacred service is to continually run grace through your system.
“I’ve reason to believe, we all will be received, in Graceland”
Paul Simon wrote this song and recorded a flawless version, but in 2020 I heard this parred down cover by James Townes Earle and heard it totally differently.
10.
This year, I have found myself anchored by friendship, grateful for those precious humans I call friends. No matter what comes, I know we will get through it – together.
“Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
Your Turn
In the comments, please share 1 lesson you’ve learned in 2020.
If there is a song that relates the the lesson please share that too!
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Thanks for the share, Chris. Lovely lessons for us all. This year I have learned what it means to be the medial woman. I have lived with one foot in this realm and the other in the ether. This has allowed me to live more softly, more consciously, and honestly taught me to take life lightly.
beautiful, Nina ♥️
See everyone as though they have experienced a pain much greater than you could understand. Look at behaviors as a wound they were not able to heal. Connect to the peoples hearts.
yes, Chelsea ♥️!
Ok, here goes! This year i learned that the universe is not “out to get me,” despite the messages I was born into. The stubbed toe, the traffic delay, the the burnt meal are not a universal smack down. Stuff happens when you are living life. I believe that There is a universal energy that aligns with our deepest desires. And it is helpful. It doesn’t mean that we don’t need to do the work. But I do believe it is a helpful energy that assists us when we really know what we want. Song is “you’ve got a friend” JT
I hear that, Pati! ♥️
My mantra this year has been “we don’t have to be who we were 5 minutes ago”. This message ebbs and flows to me over and over in the sea of uncertainty. It repeatedly reminds us to see to each other in moment to moment transformation and allows for radical change. Happy Néw Year to you Chris and everyone who is part of the Wild Woman Project sisterhood.
Beautiful, Tami ♥️ Thank you and Happy New Year to you!
Al and I are saving this for this evening. Then we may watch a movie or listen to music. Just a perfect thing from you to end the year. We miss you so much as you know. I’m sure Bennett has kept you apprised as to what we have been through the last 10 days but now there is peace again and relief. Phew.
Will get your present off to you, I promise. I have so many lessons in my head.
Will get back to you on that. Laying low to continue healing.
Sending you all warm winter blessings and better yearS ahead.
We love you both Hope to see you soon? 🥰💕☮️ and big hugs from afar,
Much love, Nancy ♥️!
I am going to Graceland – thank you Chris for sharing your year and sharing this year with me and with all you wonderful wild women. Coming back from a winter walk in my hometown in the Alps in Austria I am full of grace – seeing my best friend from childhood with a smile on here face recovering from cancer – seeing my 91year old Mom taking care of my dement Dad – being kissed by my partner Eric under the falling snow – breathing in the pure and fresh snowy air – part of nature – in the middle of the woods – love shine on you
awww…beautiful! Love to you, Maria ♥️
For me, the most powerful lesson of 2020 is that Mother Nature herself is the source of true healing. I had the blessing to be able to live on a mountain for a few weeks and it was incredible how my whole body attuned to the mountain and forest. All of the supplements, bodywork, etc pale in comparison to being in deep communion with mama Gaia. Also, a deep realization that cultivating joy during heavy times is a necessary act of rebellion. Sending love to you and all of my wild woman sisters ❤️✨
Feeling this so much ♥️
This year, I rested. My body, mind, and soul took a breath. I let go of the busy-ness, the noise, the “I-shoulds” and I settled into myself, maybe for the first time ever in this way. When I did that, my heart opened… to so… much…pain. And I felt it all. For the first time, I leaned into the full gravity of my pain without wanting it to not be there. From that, a resilience I only dreamed of was born.
mmm, Kaur, so beautiful ♥️
I have learned a lot this past year. About my own resilience through it all, and strength to pursue training to embark on a new career that I feel will bring me more purpose and align with how I feel I can show up and contribute to this world.
So glad to hear that, Robin ♥️