“I know people heal by being able to tell the story – the whole story.”
~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Imagine: a blazing fire in the middle of a cold, dark, shadow filled forest. An old Crone Woman wearing a black cloak, holding a long cane, her glowing silver hair illuminated by the glow of the fire, the reflection of the flame in her eyes as she hunches over, reaches out her hand towards you, issuing you a fierce warning through way of allegory.
This is the image of a storyteller that I have carried with me since I was a young girl.
I never fathomed I too could be a Storyteller, in my early thirties, in my sweatpants, sitting on the floor in my living room, surrounded by Women I have varying levels of intimacy with, recounting a painful experience of my heartbreak, voice quivering, tears streaming, snot dripping, searching for meaning, not knowing what would happen next, what any of it even means.
I now know that I too am a storyteller, we all are, if we chose to be.
Since I began leading Women’s Circles in early 2012 I have learned what it means to be a storyteller, the depth of healing it provides to both the teller and the listener, and the purely inexplicable magic of it all.
Today, I’d love to share an unexhausted list of what I’ve learned through this process, and how it’s changed me (and continues to change me).
1) The Value of Being HEARD, really HEARD, is immeasurable.
Not being heard is a wound I have witnessed so many Women express that I have lost count. Recalling Woman after Woman revel in the experience of truly being heard over the last nine years that I have led Women’s Circles still leads me to tears. The sociology of this collective wound is something that requires much more time to unpack than I have with you, today. However, I think you, dear reader, instinctively understand what I am sharing here.
Being given the space to speak your truth, your whole truth, without interruption, judgement, advice giving, or questioning is one of the deepest gifts one can receive. This can have a particular flavor of healing when you share your story to a group of Women who don’t know you, who have no preconceived ideas about who you are or what you’re sharing. Sharing your story can be a different healing experience when you are speaking to your closest confidants. And an even different when you just NEED to tell the same story again, and again, and again in order to heal – which I have absolutely had to do (special love to Rachael, Mia, Jesse, & Miriam who are often the loving and generous listeners of my same story for the ONE HUNDREDTH time).
When I share my story, it provides me with the opportunity to physically hear myself process my feelings. It gives me the gift of my thoughts and feelings crossing the bridge from my inner world to our collective world, which not only makes it “real” but also allows others to help me carry the weight of my story. Seeing my words land on their hearts makes me feel less alone. It helps me make sense of my experiences (and parts of myself I don’t always understand). I could truly write a book on the healing power of being heard. I am eternally grateful that Women’s Circles have given me a reliable and frequent place for this to happen (not a once in a Blue Moon experience, more of an EVERY New Moon one 😉).
2) Hearing Other Women’s Stories Changes My Life.
Listening to other Women share their stories has fundamentally changed and continues to change me. When I am listening to another Woman share her story, I am like a tuning fork, vibrating at her frequency, taking her and her story into the care of my own heart. This has provided me with more relief, release, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, humor, and depth than I ever thought I would have the privilege to contain in this lifetime. All their stories confidentially locked in my heart, you will have to trust me when I say these stories have E X P A N D E D me, in every way.
The best way I can describe this is to ask you to imagine a story that your Grandmother (or another Wise Woman in your family) has shared with you. That one story you think about more often than you anticipated. That story that for whatever reason made its way into your heart, it taught you something, it became a part of you, it guides you, nourishes you, sometimes makes you laugh. Being a part of Women’s Circles has given me the gift of hundreds of these stories. (Special love to Chris, Sara, Liz, Jenny, Mary, Cole, and countless, COUNTLESS other Women who’s stories are now an engrained part of me).
3) Storytelling Gives You Listening Superpowers.
This practice of sharing your story, of being intensely present while others tell their story, can’t help but make you an incredible listener. When I say this, part of it is probably very obvious. Whenever I get close to a new person I often receive the feedback that I am a good listener, and furthermore, that they feel an uncanny encouragement to open up to me. I very often hear “it usually takes me months to tell someone that about myself”. In my opinion this is the best compliment I could receive because this means we are sharing in the very special magic of storytelling.
The part of this gift that may not be as obvious is that you become a better listener towards yourself. Having practiced listening and sharing for so long, it becomes easier and easier to decipher what’s going on inside yourself (for better or worse). Practicing this skill has led me to have deep introspection, which has nourished me in more ways than I can count. At this point it’s something I can’t turn off (again, for better or worse).
Even more unexpected, is that in practicing listening, I am able to listen to wisdom from the Earth in a way I didn’t know was possible. Greeting a tree or a flower or a body of water and energetically listening for a message is now a regular part of my life. It’s as if the Earth is sharing stories of its own with me. The story of a destroyed and regrown forest. The story of a vine that has grown to impossible heights. The story of tiny moss that is so preciously delicate, but can somehow encompass an entire tree. These too are stories that expand me, that make me a better person, and enrich my life on a daily basis.
If you feel called to join us for our Circle Gatherings, our Circle Leader Training Program, or feel called to find your own sacred place to practice storytelling, I will leave you with this prayer from my heart, to yours, in the words of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés (a Queen of storytelling herself):
“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories… water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.”
Your Turn!
What’s your experience with sharing your story? How has it changed you?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
On the Horizon
Join us for an hour-long New Moon Meditation Adventure on December 2nd!
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Using a dynamic meditation journey, we will tune into the New Moon, to your own Inner Guidance, synced up with wild-hearted women from around the world. This offering will include music, storytelling, meditation, journaling prompts & intention-setting.
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"The Circle Leader Training Program at The Wild Woman Project was one of the most transformative and healing experiences of my life. I have received many tools, resources, support, and connections that I will carry on with me forever." ~ Hannah Devin, Graduate
Part part skill-building, part wildish personal-development, this course is sure to give you a deeper look into the Wild Woman Archetype, Moon Wisdom, Intuition and Inner Guidance, Circle Facilitation, and community building. With hundreds of graduates in 26 countries around the world, this course has been cultivated over 13 years to be our very best in Feminine Leadership Training.
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Amanda is the Director of Communications & Creative Development for The Wild Woman Project, as well as: Wild Woman Project Circle Leader, a member of the Love Crew at the annual WILD WOMAN FEST, and a Mentor for The Wild Woman Project Circle Leader Training Program. She holds a B.A. in Theatre from California State University, Fullerton where she intensively studied Movement for the Stage. A self described Mystic, Artist, Witch, People Person, Beverage Aficionado from Los Angeles California; She is particularly passionate about the space where Art, Activism, and Spirit collide.
Story telling
About 3 years ago I made a choice to submit my story to a book with 12 other woman telling their story. I was in a deep period of healing and changing patterns in my life. I have always wanted to be a published author so this was a very pivotal opportunity to me. What I didn’t realize in writing and then reading, and sharing my story was that I was allowing surrender, invoking acceptance and holding space for others that had been on a similar path as mine.
It was a very empowering and brave place to be. I still held back for fear of hurting others, yet I do not regret a thing.
After the book came out I had the privilege to communicate with the women in the book, and had many other woman reach out to me thanking me for telling my story, as they read they were feeling validated, heard and felt seen. Even if I was a stranger to them, it didn’t matter.
Many of my close friends were shocked, empathetic and saw me in a different light.
I lost family member’s, hit walls of silence, but I do not regret sharing my story. The more I shared the more free I felt. The authentic Jenn had shown up!
I was able to do several public speaking engagements regarding parts of my story and saw other women cry with me, heal with me. I heard their tears, their adversity and we held deep space for each other.
It lead me closer to my work with energy, coaching, women circles and intuitive endeavors.
It was one of the most empowering events in my healing journey.
I always wanted to be a story teller, I never thought it would be my story I was telling and yet I think it may have been the best story I could have told.
Thank you
Jennifer, this is so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story here with me! Wow, I commend you for your commitment to following your calling and your bravery. It sounds like a deeply nourishing experience. Big Hugs.
I currently belong to several Facebook groups…and the safest, most profoundly changing groups are with “strangers”, (people whom I’ve never met in person). Yet…we have shared stories and tears, heartache and successes. We have witnessed one another through painful transitions and breakups, outrageous joy and being truly seen, heard and known. I believe all Wild Women are story tellers…and when we refuse to allow patriarchy to shut us up or shut us down? Look out! We are world changers…we allow love to lead the charge. “When we love, we allow our hearts to speak.” Bell Hooks
YESSS!!!! Beautiful Paula! Thank you so much for sharing this! I agree that telling our stories, our whole stories is defiantly a push against what is so often expected of us. I also love the experience of sharing with “strangers” in this way! So beautiful to be able to connect with others like this, in my opinion some of the best uses of the internet. ♥️
I have seen the story telling change people’s lives. For the past years, I’ve offered a course called Life Art and Story Medicine—a journey that includes archetypes, discovery, re-wording, intention setting and living in radiant alignment (as best we can…along our way). It is empowering to discover the stories that take away and replace them with the ones that support our soaring (our greatest song, our greatest light). Many years ago, I met a women who I embraced in my own weaving. She was a story teller…and I witnessed the magic.
OHHH Lovely! Go you!! 👏 What a beautiful contribution you are making . Thank you so much for sharing. So glad you’ve had those experiences.
This is so beautiful, Amanda, thank you for sharing! I recently told my story during an online webinar as an opening for a global online festival I created called Emerging Consciousness. It was an extremely healing process for me to write my spiritual autobiography and recount the moments of my own emergence. It helped me to connect the dots, see patterns in my life, and what led me to this moment. It gave me perspective and new awarenesses. Those listening were inspired as well! Yes, the power of storytelling is real!
Aww Tami thank you for reading! I’m so glad you had that experience! How wonderful and what a gift to others. Isn’t it so interesting how telling our own story can be so illuminating for us as well? ♥️
I am a beginner learner in this arena and am very curious. I have been teaching Yoga and Pilates for 17 years and little by little I share bits and pieces of me. I am now 47 and I stopped dying my hair so it is I am mostly white. When I had my hair dark, people thought I was in my 30’s. I feel like people are respecting me more these days. It has been a long quiet journey from my end. I am embracing fears around sharing. This is wonderful what you have created!
Ohhh Kellie, what an interesting experience to see how others embrace the change in your hair. Sharing is so different for each of us, isn’t it? I’m glad you’ve felt more comfortable to begin sharing yourself more recently (as it seems like you are saying it’s been nourishing for you!). Thank you so much for sharing with us here. I am so excited to see where this journey leads you!
As a bartender and nurse I have always in a sense been the receiver/observer of stories, and you are correct, they do affect you, some even change you. But I am usually very uncomfortable with sharing beyond the superficial, perhaps that’s one reason I am being called into circle training, so that I may finally begin to tell my story.
Oh wow, what a lovely observation about yourself being the listener vs the storyteller. Well, we are so excited to circle with you and hear whatever you’ll feel called to share. 🙂 Thank you for sharing here today!