Nearly half way through the current Moon Cycle, on May 1st, I slipped my hiking boots on, tied up the tattered rainbow laces, and stood up. My heart, feet, and spirit sang a three part harmony. The ritual had officially begun.

Trail ahead, all to-dos behind, that invisible current came to and through me, drawing me forward into the lush May forest.

It’s been a full time recently.

Full of work that often, but not always, feels like play, and play that takes some work. All ripe with unexpected twist and turns testing my capacity to keep all the balls in the air as I do my best to find joy in the juggling of all the precious bits of life.

As often happens when life gets full, one of the first things to fall off of my to-do list is caring properly for my body, which is just another way of saying me. I fall off my to-do list. 

And not too long after that happens, I find myself sitting in a dark hole, somehow still kind of juggling. From the outside, very few people can tell, but on the inside, fried to a crisp. 

Then there is moment of recognition. Oh, you’ve fallen off your priority list and into the dark lonely hole that some people call burn out. I’ve been here enough times to know – this is the moment where I make the list I’ve written ten dozen times before. Each time the title is a little different.

Things that help me be okay.

Or

Things that feel my soul.

Or

Things that brighten my spirit.

The list usually includes variations on:

• Moving my body – hiking, yoga, dancing
• Time immersed in nature
• Calling or meeting up with my soul-friends and family
• Writing
• Solitude
• Rest

And ever since 2021, hiking is at the top of the list. It checks 3 out of the 6 essentials and it makes my dog happy, which, let’s be honest, is the primary reason for my existence.

When I was a younger woman I hung out in the dark lonely burnout hole a lot longer. I had very little awareness of what exactly was going on and had not yet collected the tools to get myself out. Now, I recognize it a little earlier, make my list, and get to get going on it.

Each time, as I am crawling out I promise myself to not forget this moment, promising not to allow myself to fall off the priority list. Maybe in 5 or 10 or 20 years I’ll have this tattooed on my psyche. For now, I’m just grateful for the list.

In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Dr. Estés speaks about this process as homecoming, coming back to the Soul place.

“There are many ways to go home; many are mundane, some are divine…Rereading passages of books and single poems…spending even a few minutes near a river, a stream, a creek. Lying on the ground in dappled light. Being with a loved one without kids around. Sitting on the porch shelling something, knitting something, peeling something. Walking or driving for an hour, any direction, then returning. Boarding any bus, destination unknown. Making drums while listening to music. Greeting sunrise. Praying. A special friend. Sitting on a bridge with legs dangling over. Holding an infant. Sitting by a window in a cafe and writing. Sitting in a circle of trees. Drying hair in the sun. Putting hands in a rain barrel. Potting plants, being sure to get hands very muddy. Beholding beauty, grace, the touching frailty of human beings.”

When I make the space and time to tend my list which are simply the many roads I have found to travel back to the soul home inside. I am hopeful, relaxedish, vital, steady, and okay – deeply okay. In this state, I feel gratitude for life. Even when the hard stuff rolls across my path, when I have been taking good care of myself, I can meet those moments with more grace and presence.

How about you?

When you are tired and weary, burnt out and feeling depleted, how do you find your way back home? How do you fill your cup? Replenish your energy? Please share in the comments here; Let’s inspire each other.

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Using a dynamic meditation journey, we will tune into the New Moon, to your own Inner Guidance, synced up with wild-hearted women from around the world. This offering will include music, storytelling, meditation, journaling prompts & intention-setting.

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