Nearly half way through the current Moon Cycle, on May 1st, I slipped my hiking boots on, tied up the tattered rainbow laces, and stood up. My heart, feet, and spirit sang a three part harmony. The ritual had officially begun.
Trail ahead, all to-dos behind, that invisible current came to and through me, drawing me forward into the lush May forest.
It’s been a full time recently.
Full of work that often, but not always, feels like play, and play that takes some work. All ripe with unexpected twist and turns testing my capacity to keep all the balls in the air as I do my best to find joy in the juggling of all the precious bits of life.
As often happens when life gets full, one of the first things to fall off of my to-do list is caring properly for my body, which is just another way of saying me. I fall off my to-do list.
And not too long after that happens, I find myself sitting in a dark hole, somehow still kind of juggling. From the outside, very few people can tell, but on the inside, fried to a crisp.
Then there is moment of recognition. Oh, you’ve fallen off your priority list and into the dark lonely hole that some people call burn out. I’ve been here enough times to know – this is the moment where I make the list I’ve written ten dozen times before. Each time the title is a little different.
Things that help me be okay.
Or
Things that feel my soul.
Or
Things that brighten my spirit.
The list usually includes variations on:
- Moving my body – hiking, yoga, dancing
- Time immersed in nature
- Calling or meeting up with my soul-friends and family
- Writing
- Solitude
- Rest
And ever since 2021, hiking is at the top of the list. It checks 3 out of the 6 essentials and it makes my dog happy, which, let’s be honest, is the primary reason for my existence.
When I was a younger woman I hung out in the dark lonely burnout hole a lot longer. I had very little awareness of what exactly was going on and had not yet collected the tools to get myself out. Now, I recognize it a little earlier, make my list, and get to get going on it.
Each time, as I am crawling out I promise myself to not forget this moment, promising not to allow myself to fall off the priority list. Maybe in 5 or 10 or 20 years I’ll have this tattooed on my psyche. For now, I’m just grateful for the list.
In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Dr. Estés speaks about this process as homecoming, coming back to the Soul place.
“There are many ways to go home; many are mundane, some are divine…Rereading passages of books and single poems…spending even a few minutes near a river, a stream, a creek. Lying on the ground in dappled light. Being with a loved one without kids around. Sitting on the porch shelling something, knitting something, peeling something. Walking or driving for an hour, any direction, then returning. Boarding any bus, destination unknown. Making drums while listening to music. Greeting sunrise. Praying. A special friend. Sitting on a bridge with legs dangling over. Holding an infant. Sitting by a window in a cafe and writing. Sitting in a circle of trees. Drying hair in the sun. Putting hands in a rain barrel. Potting plants, being sure to get hands very muddy. Beholding beauty, grace, the touching frailty of human beings.”
When I make the space and time to tend my list which are simply the many roads I have found to travel back to the soul home inside. I am hopeful, relaxedish, vital, steady, and okay – deeply okay. In this state, I feel gratitude for life. Even when the hard stuff rolls across my path, when I have been taking good care of myself, I can meet those moments with more grace and presence.
How about you?
When you are tired and weary, burnt out and feeling depleted, how do you find your way back home? How do you fill your cup? Replenish your energy? Please share in the comments here; Let’s inspire each other.
On the Horizon
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Chris Maddox is the founder of The Wild Woman Project where she teaches women how to utilize the gifts of the Wild Woman Archetype in their everyday lives & how to lead women’s circles in their local communities. She is the organizer & facilitator of the beloved annual WILD WOMAN FEST, a women’s retreat-festival hybrid which fosters a deep connection to nature, a direct experience of the divine feminine & profound spiritual sisterhood among the women in attendance.
An ever student of the great mysteries of existence and nature itself, Chris believes women are holding innate gifts & tools that society at large needs – now more than ever. She is committed to helping women remember their special magic and to bring it forward into every corner of their lives, for the greater good of the planet.
I love and deeply resonate with the paragraph where you described falling off your to do list. And wondering how many times I’m going to meet myself in that same spot.
My “homecoming” list has the same activities as yours (alone time in nature seems to be the most potent for me), plus receiving body/energy work, playing my instruments, and listening to my favorite music.
Here’s to collective nourishment <3
Mmm…yes, Jacky. Collective nourishment indeed. ♥️
i’m still in the hole but i’m on the ladder to climb myself out I really liked your suggestions I may have to borrow a few. This year I’m not going to make commitments unless it has to do with my grandkids , but what I am going to do is make last minute adventures this way I can’t get in my head and talk myself out of it . I want to just live in the moment and see where the wind blows me and i’m sure it’s going to take me where I truly need to be . Be well
Love that intention, Cindy. Letting yourself be guided and spontaneous moment to moment sounds freeing. Thanks for chiming in here. Always great to hear from you. Wishing you wind in your hair 🌬️✨✨
Hey Chris, what an article, i vaguely remember reading this. Thank you for the reminder, as i too have been feeling that little niggle that, oh yes, I’m depleted, and how so very annoyed i am at myself for not listening to my body, my temple when she first began her cry for rest and nourishing foods to help me get better and refuel my tank.
Its such a coincidence that this Friday just gone i held cacao ceremony and space for my attendees to gather in contemplation of the word ‘capacity.’
I needed it myself basically, as i too have been juggling. And you know what I’ve recently realised: it seems to be a pattern of mine that the return of the sun; every spring time, i take on waaay too much in excitement that the sun is back again. But then i get my tool kit out, and replenish that energy that i have burnt so very quickly.
My tools: i check in by drawing a big circle on paper ands writing all the things i have going on in my life at that time. Then i circle the ones that are THEE MOST important to me. I take those forward with me during the coming days. The remaining, i leave behind, like scraps of food fit for the waste bin lol.
This totally replenishes me, every time, so i can get my power and energy back. I buy ingredients to make myself lemon and ginger tea, i rest, read, slow live by walking solo to my favourite place.
I do yoga and gift my body that yummy feeling. I return home to me. 🙏🏼 thank you so much Chris. This is such a lush reminder for my writing of my next book: relating to helping women realise the important of slowing down to listen to when oneself is depleted 🙌🏽 🫶🏽 sending so much love xo
I hear you, Stacey! Love your walk through of your process of replenishment. Just noticing the pattern this Spring will likely help you next Spring, too.
Oh and for your book, I bet you’d find the research in “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily and Amelia Nagasaki very helpful.
Sending lots of love your way! xo