I’ve always felt like a weirdo.
Early on I was hard-pressed to find anyone who was talking or thinking about things I thought were interesting. I remember finding theater as a kid and feeling as close as I’d ever been to being “amongst my people.” Only a specific sect of teenagers would want to spend hours upon hours rehearsing Macbeth, for instance. Those were my kind of teenagers. The ones interested in making art & contemplating death, destruction, guilt, and so forth. I found solace in the whispered conversations in the dark of backstage & some kind of glory in standing upfront bathed in light.
Eventually, though, the seeker in me started craving different conversations. As a young adult, I found myself at parties in NYC surrounded by theater types & wanting to talk about the “big questions.” My attention started to move toward philosophy and spirituality – “Like, what exactly are we doing here?” My theater friends loved me and I loved them, but talking about that stuff wasn’t really their thing.
When I took my first yoga teacher training, I remember feeling exactly like a fish in water. Nothing had ever seemed so natural. I found new community and conversations amongst the yoga folk. Through my work with Yoga, I was introduced to the concept of the Divine Feminine. Which lead me into all sorts of terrain that felt and continue to feel like deep sea diving into myself & the great mysteries.
When I started my first Women’s Circle in 2008, something cracked wide open. Not only was it clear that I had found a calling, but there was something else too…
Listening to the stories of women in circle, I began to realized something really important:
WE ARE ALL WEIRDOS.
We have all felt, at some point, like we don’t belong.
We’ve experience heartache and longing.
We have dreams, big and small.
We all struggle with confidence to some degree.
We’ve had loss and felt lost.
We’ve all had things to celebrate.
And on and on…
Of course we are all nuanced and unique, seeing that is an enormous part of the fun, medicine & meaningfulness of circle – but what I’ve learned in over a decade of hanging out in sacred space with other women is that there is a wealth of shared experience that creates an invisible, yet potent, connection between us. We hear someone else’s story, and feel deep in our hearts, “Me too, sis, me too.”
This
Body Electric Moon Cycle, I’ve found myself very tapped into the invisible web of support we weave together here at The Wild Woman Project.
↠When I need strength & hope, I think of the 200+ Circle Leaders who are creating sacred space in 17 different countries around the world.
↠I remember the laugh lines on the faces of dear sisters I meet on the Mountain every summer at
WILD WOMAN FEST, and my heart seems to expand.
↠I think of the emails we receive regularly from all corners of the world – women expressing that they feel the wild woman rising in them too – and tears come to my eyes.
I think of all of you weirdos reading this right now, and my body buzzes with what can best be described as aliveness. The experience of Love moves through the whole of me.
Despite the uncertainty of the time, the divisions & the enormous challenges facing humanity- Here we are, all together, a bunch of weirdos with heart trying to make a difference in this world.
Truth be told, I think of our tribe as part of a universe-wide rag tag community of helpers, healers, mystics, warriors, Jedis, working on all levels of existence and showing up for the greater good in the only ways we know how.
I think of the Monks in prayer,
The devoted activists chained to trees,
The network of Fungi communicating we know not what – underground – right now.
I think of souls unseen showing up in the hidden corners of our lives,
The musicians singing their songs in devotion,
The great poets leaving breadcrumbs of truth over the ages.
I think of all the good hearted people sincerely helping in small, but mighty ways every single day.
And then I think of us ~ weaving our hearts together, circle after circle, in a great tapestry of light, holding the Earth in our arms.
Nowadays, the seeker in me has relaxed quite a bit. I don’t find myself aching for some universal truth. I’m at peace with what I know and do not know.
However, I am deeply engaged with the question: “How can we be better family to one another here on Earth?”
I’m interested in the cultivation of kind hearted connection amongst people & all living beings. The way I choose to contribute to this is by helping women reconnect with the truth of themselves, the natural world, and other women.
I believe women to be leaders & potent influencers in their families and communities – so I start there.
So to you, dear community, as this Moon Cycle comes to a close, I am here to say:
Thank you for being exactly who you are & exactly where you are.
Thank you for offering up your precious attention to this work/play.
Thank you for being a source of strength & love that we can all tap into when we most need it.
I love you, weirdos.
Okay, you asked.
What gives you invisible, yet palpable, strength & hope?
Seeing people helping others in whatever way. Saving strangers from disaster, feeding the homeless, even helping a child read. There IS hope for humanity. We aren’t ALL selfish predators.
What makes you feel alive?
Intellectual discussions. Writing funny stories. Cuddling my daughter and husband.
What have you learned in Circle?
I haven’t joined one yet, hopefully one will open near me soon.
With love from a confirmed weirdo. My thoughts, health, appearance and feelings have NEVER fitted in with the rest of the world. I’ve always felt like a visiting alien.
Dear Catherine👽,
These are wonderful!
Xo
E.T. phone home.
I only wish I could! 🙂
I love this, Chris. I’m a weirdo too and have been ever since I was a little girl who felt the world too much and couldn’t look anyone in the eye 🙂 I totally know what it’s like to feel like you don’t belong, and see this is the root of my social anxiety.
However, when I look at my past 40 years on the globe, I see that embracing my weirdness and having the courage to be myself has attracted some of my closest friends. But it’s still not easy. I can’t be around people who “get” me 24-7. There’s the other parents at my son’s school, coworkers, strangers at the grocery store, and even my own family that I feel very different from. It’s a daily struggle. Attempting to be authentic can sometimes feel really hard when it doesn’t feel safe to do so.
I still push myself, though, by questioning WHY I don’t feel safe – is it a real or perceived threat? What’s the worst that can happen? It won’t literally kill me, but having others perceive me as odd just seems to exacerbate that divide between us and that sense of not belonging. But the flip side, of course, is that being authentic is the only way to attract my people. I know this. I would much rather be real and deal with the challenges of doing so in order to live a life I am proud of.
Being different can also indicate that we have been placed on this planet to challenge the status quo and help make some big cultural shifts!
One thing that gives me strength and hope is being a circle leader. The response to my circles has been beyond what I ever dreamed of, and is an indicator that women are craving sisterhood outside of the typical spaces that women gather. Outside of the nail salon, outside of the club, outside of the gym, etc. We know we can go deeper than that. We know that we NEED to go deeper than that.
It’s really been the first time in my life that I’ve had this type of space to explore deep spiritual ideas in sisterhood, and it’s really precious. Clearly, it’s a benefit not just to those who attend circles, but those who lead them as well!
Thank you for all that you do. xo
Dear Leigh-Anne,
Thank you for sharing about the interior of your weirdo experience:) It really resonates.
So happy you have your circle space to explore together ~ so beautiful.
Heart taps + Big hug,
Chris
not inclined to share much at this time, but “heart taps”, Chris. A lovely reminder of our connection <3
Received & Felt, Brittany. Thank you:) Much love to you. xo
So, dear, dear women, sister weirdos,
After reading Chris’ message, I want to share that I, too, felt that I didn’t belong, that I was born at the wrong time in history, to the wrong family, in the wrong country, in the wrong body and on and on……….. Books were my refuge, especially Ancient Greek History and Mythology. I asked too many questions. I never really bought the required dogma of the groups, organizations, tribes or family into which I was born and raised even though I certainly tried. It was like trying to fit myself into shoes that were too small, while being determined not to pay attention to my cramped and aching feet. Tiny, perfect Cinderella-feet were the standard, but my too big feet didn’t fit the glass slipper held by the Prince.
Now as a Crone, sitting and sharing with women in Circles and Circles and Circles the weirdness in me embraces the weirdness in all. What a relief it is to kick off the glass slipper.
I thank you too for your courage, and for the next steps we will take together to cultivate our deep kind-hearted connections as we live the truth of ourselves.
Dear Carol,
Big smiles I read your words and see you kicking off the glass slipper!
Always so grateful for your reflections, friend. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Love,
Chris
Dear, dear women, sister weirdos,
After reading Chris’ message, I want to share that I, too, felt that I didn’t belong, that I was born at the wrong time in history, to the wrong family, in the wrong country, in the wrong body and on and on……….. Books were my refuge, especially Ancient Greek History and Mythology. I asked too many questions. I never really bought the required dogma of the groups, organizations, tribes or family into which I was born and raised even though I certainly tried. It was like trying to fit myself into shoes that were too small, while being determined not to pay attention to my cramped and aching feet. Tiny, perfect Cinderella-feet were the standard, but my too big feet didn’t fit the glass slipper held by the Prince.
Now as a Crone, sitting and sharing with women in Circles and Circles and Circles the weirdness in me embraces the weirdness in all. What a relief it is to kick off the glass slipper.
I thank you too for your courage, and for the next steps we will take together to cultivate our deep kind-hearted connections as we live the truth of ourselves.
FINALLY! I FOUND MY F**KING WEIRDOS!!!
I’ve never been given the opportunity to say whatever the F I want without the worry of what someone will think. Here, we don’t think, we FEEL! We vibrate as if we, as a whole constist of an entire orchestra playing the music that brings the tears to your eyes! Never before in my life had I ever found a place that was safe and free at the same time. You gals brought that to my heartspace. I will ALWAYS be grateful for WEIRDNESS! (And of course each and every one of you!)
PS, I was only trying to be mindful of this space and decided to not FULLY swear. It always sounds better in person anyways! 😉