Bring to mind a child or animal you love dearly. Imagine them showing up at your front door with a broken arm and instead of caring for them you quickly pull them into your house so no one else sees that they are hurt. Once inside you can’t bear to look at them or hear their cries so you shove them into the basement. If they cry or scream too loud, you turn your television up louder to drown out the noise or leave the house all together.  What happens? They continue to be in great pain, their injuries worsen and you feel ashamed and guilty.

I know you would never intentionally do this to someone you love and who depends upon you. Especially someone as loveable as the sweet children and animals in your lives.

Unfortunately, this is what we humans do to ourselves all the time. When we notice a wound, we judge it right away as unacceptable and hide it as best we can. When it aches inside of us, we abuse ourselves with inner dialogue, “Shut up. Stop being a baby. No one will ever love you if they find out how weak/stupid/damaged you are.” We try and drown out the noise with addictions to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, television and even exercise. No matter how we try to mask it, we end up walking around with a general sense of shame or guilt.

The bad news is this way of doing things is a recipe for life-long pain and dis-ease.
The good news is that this very moment. Yes, this one right here contains the doorway to healing and wholeness.

Soften your body, open your ears and consider these 3 actionalble steps:

Stop hiding (right now). We are all so very afraid of the bad others may perceive in us or seduced by the good they may find if we show up as perfectly as possible. This state of partially hiding is exhausting and ultimately dampening to our expression. What if you didn’t try to hide your insecurity anymore? What if you said to a friend, “I feel nervous.” Would they lose all respect for you? No. They would probably gain some. Vulnerability is gorgeous. Why do you think we fawn over movie stars so much? Who else would so openly let us see them cry and make mistakes? (Go all out and tell TWWP community what you have been hiding/what you are feeling here in the comments section.) You will be amazed at the freedom you will feel when you simply come out of the basement with it.

Ask for help. I recommend taking Stevie Wonder’s advice and have a talk with God.  You can also enroll in a personal-development workshop, see a therapist, seek out books that may offer you guidance. Maybe you even have a friend that you could call on to lend a hand. Whatever it is you decided to do, truly open yourself to receive with gratitude all assistance that comes to do you. Remember, assistance may not come in exactly the form you expect. “Ask and you shall receive, beyond your wildest dreams.”-Devotchka

Love unconditionally. This is a practice. When you find yourself engaged in negative self-talk (and let’s be real here, self abuse), Stop. Take a breath and forgive yourself for the thought. Then love yourself like you would a little girl with a broken arm. Give yourself a little hug to seal it in. And for the love of Goddess, practice on others; your date, your lover, your mother, your friend, co-workers, the cashier at the grocery store could use the healing of unconditional love more than you can imagine. Watch your tendency to judge them and put them into boxes. “He’s lazy. She’s controlling.” Again see the little boy or little girl with the wound. Love, love…

The Truth of the matter is, we need you. The world needs what you are here to contribute and the more you engage in the fiction of how “bad” and “wrong” you are, the farther you get from being the pillar of light you really are.

Step out into the light, ask for help and LOVE like it’s your job (because, in part, it is).

I’d love to hear from you in the comments section. What do you need to come out of the basement with? Do you have a book recommendation for the gang? Some wisdom or guidance to share from your experience with negative self talk? Share.

Wishing you the respectful and loving inner dialogue you deserve.

With all my love,
Chris

P.S- Know someone who could use a little love? Send this to them. Share freely with your tribe. 

P.P.S- New Yorkers, I hope to see you on February 16th…Twill be grand;)

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