Sitting in my old office, in my old house, pen in hand, I took to the first pages of a brand new journal, given to me by the couple I was to wed in just a few days. Bound with light brown leather, embossed with an illustration of a compass, I carefully wrote down the outline for the ceremony.
Having never officiated a wedding before, the task seemed somewhat enormous, yet filled with the warm and mysterious nudges of the sacred. In the weeks before this moment, I sat with the couple, who had an easy, beautiful connection and a crystal clear vision for their partnership and life together. They shared the kind of sacred partnership I had always wanted, yet knew, at that time in my life, I did not have. Sitting with them, in preparation for officiating their ceremony, I learned so much about the synchronistic magic of love stories and also the clear-headed pragmatism needed for a successful partnership.
Under a beautiful blue June sky, holding the compass journal in my hands, the couple was wed, in witness of their friends, family, community, and the mountains. We all rejoiced.
That was 2015, the year I took one of the great leaps of my lifetime. Not so long after the wedding, I ended a relationship, relocated, transitioned to working full-time for The Wild Woman Project, met my future husband & laid the foundation for the next phase of my life. The wedding and the realizations I had preparing for it, were part of the catalyst for the leap and the compass journal was with me for the ride.
The journal became my companion, a witness & a talisman. I scribbled notes of guidance, intentions for my future, bits of dialogue from pivotal conversations, sketches of dreams, prayers, pep talks, plans, and poetry.
When the journal was all filled up, I knew that it was the first journal of the rest of my life. In fact, in 2019, I ended up doing a
journal burn of all of my old journals, and the compass journal was where I stopped.
The next time I was asked to officiate a wedding, I knew I had to use the compass journal. So, I took blank paper & glued them over pages in the compass journal and sketched out the ceremony. And did the same, the next time and the next time and the next time.
I have held this journal in my hands, while marrying five couples, facilitating a baby blessing and a funeral. I held it in my hands last Spring, when my husband and I eloped.
Flipping through the well used pages, part old memories, and part sacred ceremony outlines for people I love, I feel wave after wave of gratitude and awe for the gift of life. Life, filled with hope and loss, the blossoming of beautiful dreams and the aches of grief. Life, cloaked in mystery, shimmering with Spirit, full of magic, surprises, and gifts.
Though I have filled 21 journals since then, the compass journal holds a special place in my heart as it embodies the very best in what a journal can be: a midwife for remembrance, a witness for revelations & ritual, a canvas for re-envisioning, a compass on the winding path.
If the young woman who first held the compass journal in her hands could see where we’d be just 6 years later, I know she’d be overjoyed with just how many seeds of intention have grown tall and strong. I know she’d be in awe of the not-so-subtle foreshadowing of what was to come. I have a feeling she’d look at current me with her wild eyes, and say: Wow…What’s next? I’d have to hand her the bronze journal I am walking with and show her.
I am certain, from where I sit right now, that the compass journal and the 21 that have come after have been integral to everything my life is & will be in the future.
So, I’ll keep scribbling, as I’ve done since girlhood, pen in hand, riding the writing into newer and truer realities.
Your Turn
Please answer in the comments below:
Do you keep a journal?
Why or why not?
This line, just wow! – ‘I know she’d be overjoyed with just how many seeds of intention have grown tall and strong.’ Your words are so incredibly juicy Chris. I felt like I was reading a chapter of your book 🙂
Yes, I do have many journals, and used to use it everyday, but not so much now. I start journaling when I heard about Julia Cameron’s ‘Morning Pages’ exercise, where every morning I’d wake up and write/fill 3 pages of just everything and anything that was in my mind. Kind of like a brain dump. I loved it, it made my brain feel less cluttered. It would enhance my meditation practice/experience too. I fell out of the habit/ritual and have felt this longing for it, which is why I have now introduced this exercise to my circles.
At least now, once a moonth I can take part in this wonderful ritual of journaling.
I have to admit though, I do worry sometimes that my partner might pick it up and read it and start questioning me over some content lol so have a little fear. I think I became a bit too mindful of what I was writing, should anyone ever read my pages.
I know I have to shut out this fear and just trust.
Howls to you Chris. Loved that read. xxx
I loved your story Chris! Thank you for sharing this piece of your life with us. It makes me want to grab my journal, dust it off and dive in. For decades of my life I kept a journal and wrote in it daily. Then a boyfriend read it and broke up with me and I guess this put a bad taste in my mouth for the whole practice of writing my deepest thoughts down. It’s silly really, it was such a long time ago and not until I wrote this and that memory popped back up did I tie my stopping journaling with this event. I have a journal now that I write in every 6 months or so, but I’m committing to getting back to it weekly on a minimum. I sometimes struggle with knowing exactly how I’m feeling and journaling was a big help with this. Looking forward to rekindling that relationship. Thank you for the inspiration!
Dear Nicole, I’m so sorry that happened. And am very happy to hear you are wanting to pick up the practice again. Lots of love to you ♥️
Thanks for your share, Stacey!
Happy to hear your reflections ♥️
Yes journaling is my one and true therapy, rebirthing tool, ritual keeper, shadow holder, dream, vision and manifestation space. Journaling has saved me and grown me and helped me Shed the layers time and time again.
Beautiful, Chelsea ♥️
Just yesterday I purchased myself a brand new journal (it’s absolutely beautiful!) and was smitten to open my inbox today and see this post about YOURS, Chris! Some things in life are just innately sacred, and I believe the journal is one of those things.
Cheers to our journals, to the comfort and wisdom they provide us, and to its ability to reconnect us – to bother ourselves and to each other.
Big cheers to that, Kristina! Happy journaling. XoChris
Yes! I’ve been writing I. Journals since I was a preteen. I love to read my thoughts from back in my early days and see how much I’ve grown. My journals have been: found and read by a friend who was temporarily hurt by the words; lost and then found; created by a friend and given as a gift; used to record dreams, oracle card readings, and my journey with yoga. I love keeping a journal, just my mother did and her mother before her.
So cool to hear journaling is something of a family tradition ♥️
That’s really cool.
Journaling has called to me over the years and been suggested to help purge thoughts, feelings, emotions, celebrations and sadness. However; I am so protective of my thoughts and words, with the possibility that someone will read my deep thoughts of agony and indecision I am currently facing. My attempts for journaling have been writing when I’m by myself and then setting the words aflame, out into the universe.
I have been asked to start journaling again, then your invitation for “Grounding Journaling practices” was in my inbox. So the universe is insisting I take up this practice. Definitely will lighten the load in my head. Thank you, I look forward to this journaling journey with you and the many Wild Women who decide to join this opportunity.
Thank you for sharing, Deborah. Really looking forward to being together in class on the 30th ♥️
Yes, I keep several at a time, for various uses as well as the necessity of always having on on hand. I do best when I journal daily for it grounds me and brings cohesiveness to my thoughts. Sometimes it is more of a rambling, a wandering of thoughts, other times it is more of a deep dive.
Wonderful story! I definitely have a journal i love to write down my thoughts as well as events that has taken place in my life and how i felt at that moment. I look forward to starting a new journal for the new year. Journaling sets me free mentally by allowing me to freely write down my thoughts and special moments.
Awesome, Michele! ♥️
Beautiful, Deja. Journal juggling is one of my favorite past times. 💓
Lovely story, Chris. I had no idea you have officiated so many ceremonies. It suits you to a T!
I love to journal, but just recently picked mine up again after a summer hiatus. It feels like the perfect season to tune back inward and writing always helps. Much love.
Thanks, love. ♥️
And so happy to hear you are picking up the practice again. Right on time. Xo
Yes I do journal, in fact I have kept a journal since the age of 9, I am 66 now and have 75 volumes of personal journals, in addition while I was pregnant and through the first 5 years of my sons life I kept separate journals recording my thoughts for those 9 months including being confined to bed for several weeks, dying and being resuscitated 3 times during delivery, I then continued to keep a journal of my experience as a mother for the 5 years of his life. I also keep a journal for hand embroidery projects to record my inspirations, design, supplies for each project. The reason I keep a journal is writing has always been my lifelong passion.
Wow, how beautiful that your journals and the practice have been with you through so much life and experience. What a blessing. Much love to you, Deb ♥️
wow! Do you keep the same type of journal for all entries or have they changed over time? I am really good at picking up cool looking journals, starting them, and then setting them down…. I return to them, and I write in them all out of order and whatnot. It’s really only been since this last year that I’ve kept myself focused on keeping things in a tidy place and order!
I have journaled since elementary school. I journal to sort my thoughts, tell my story, help with decision making and so much more.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m so happy to hear that, Amber. xo
I have journaled a lot during my life and also hold some trauma related to it where my Dad read my journal when I was a teenager, and there was always a fear that someone else would read my thoughts again. Violate me again. I write now and still know that there is space that needs to be cleared so that I feel FREE once again when I writ in my journal. Last year was the first year that I had a burn/fire ceremony with old journals and that felt really good. Thanks so much for this, as it makes me think of the work needed to clear space for myself.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Ouida. I’m so sorry that happened. I fully support and celebrate you in clearing your space, as you feel guided.
Much much love to you.
In the mornings, I will draw an Oracle card and then I will write about that card. I end my day with my gratitude journal. I use OmWriter as my daily [electronic] journal to record my card draws dream records and free-writing thoughts. I keep a second journal, a physical book, to record my gratitude notes; I plan to integrate my daily intentions and reflections into this journal too. I keep a third journal, a much thicker book, to document my Spiritual thoughts and workings. I keep my writings in these three areas, separate and tidy. I know some people prefer to keep everything in a single book, but I can’t seem to get myself to do that! I do what I can to keep mindful writing as part of my daily mental health routine, but I allow myself to be flexible with timing since it is impossible to guarantee that LIFE will stay on track with my timelines and schedules. 🙂