I will be the first to admit, I’m no relationship expert. I, like many others in my generation am a child of divorce. And my relationship to marriage and partnership is a mix of rebellion & blind optimism with a dash of hopelessness.
That said, here are the 3 things I’m pretty sure I know about relationships:
- It never looks like what you think it’s going to look like AND that’s okay. I grew up watching Nora Ephron movies after school (and on the weekends and all summer). These repeated viewings of When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail gave love the kind magical of appeal that I was not seeing in my family unit. However, as an adult, I watched Ms. Epron’s lesser talked about movie Heartburn, a largely auto-biographical account of her marriage and divorce from Carl
Berstein. If you haven’t seen it, please do and not just because it stars Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson but that kind of relationship tragedy coming from arguably the greatest romantic comedy writer of the past 50 years really speaks to our collective complicated relationship to romantic love and partnership. (Nora did get back on the saddle and was married to her 3rd husband until she passed early this year.) It never looks like what you think it’s going to look like AND that’s okay. - There is no such thing as a one size fits all relationship. We MUST stop expecting our partnerships to look like our neighbor’s partnership or our sister’s or our grandparent’s. The pressure of a cookie cutter relationship is too much to handle. We are starting to get to the point, culturally, where we can really praise an individual for being unique. Can we do the same with relationships? Yes, please!
- Keep the ‘you’ in ‘we’ or as Kahlil Gibran puts it, “let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of heaven dance between you.” When you make someone your everything, your spirit dims and the poor dear usually buckles under the pressure. They may be wonderful but they are not everything.
Many say that this generation will be the ones to redefine marriage. Personally, I view relationships as I view everything else in this world, an opportunity for a deeper understanding and connection to the divine.
In the name of exploration, I would love to hear your wisdom.
Please answer the following in the Comments Section Below:
What is one thing you know about relationships? And what is one thing that you don’t know/perplexes you?
Can’t wait to hear from you!
Wishing you a sweet week of living,
C
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