It was an eerily quiet, mid-September morning in New York City in 2010, and the midtown studio where my beloved teacher Johanna led a soulful Sunday vinyasa flow that was for many an elevating experience, was as packed as ever. But today had a distinctly different feel, one that matched my own inner landscape. Voices were hushed, hugs lingered and tears were choked back. Normally celebratory, the tone in the studio was distinctly somber, so foreign that it pulled my awareness away from my own suffering.

For years, pain had been an ongoing part of my life. I’d endured over a decade of chronic illnesses and symptoms, some diagnosed, others mysterious, coupled with intense bouts of depression, and waves of lingering physical pain, the result of a life-altering accident a couple of years prior.  With tenacity and persistence, I’d managed to discover some relief from various holistic modalities, but the sneaking suspicion that I was missing some key to unlock a more positive embodied experience remained.  Most recently, a yoga teacher training led by Johanna, simply intended to manage my symptoms, had begun to offer glimpses of possibility for a life without agony. Johanna’s Sunday class had become a ritual, offering light at the end of a long dark tunnel, beckoning me to keep flowing, and keep going. Some moments, some days, I was now spontaneously joyful, and even – wonder of wonders! – pain FREE.

Today, however, was not one of those days. I had woken to a tidal wave of distress. My body was locked up, nearly immobilized, and I kept having waves of unprompted tearfulness and despair. It had taken hours to hobble through a morning routine and navigate the city’s public transit demands for this class, my only hope of potentially salvaging the day. Getting to – and through – this class was my singular goal, and I was counting on its uplifting promise. But as I watched the students greet one another, I was struck by how much the spirit of these yogis mirrored my own dreary, despairing, and dark inner life.

Class began. We were brought into a tall seat, and drew our vision inward for an arrival meditation. As usual, Johanna began with a reading, this one of remembrance, anniversaries, collective grief, and recounting her own memories of this day, nine years ago…

Slowly, as I listened, realization dawned on me.

Today was the anniversary of September 11th. In New York City. People were collectively recalling their pain, anguish, grief, fears, and memories of an infamous day in New York’s shared and recent history.

A thought, entirely new to me, rose from within:

Is the pain I’m experiencing in my body and spirit… not… MINE?

Instantly, the moment my inner voice uttered this question, WHOOSH!

As tactile and tangible as if I had been hit with a gust of heavy wind, I felt a powerful, air-like current SWEEP potently through my legs and UP my body, like an intense shiver up my spine, washing through every cell. It lifted with force out of the crown of my head and left me, taking along with it every experience of physical and emotional pain in my body. The pain was ABSENT, gone. In its place, every one of my cells felt electrified, filled with a lightness of being, a tingling, and a potent bliss. A cellular YES. It was a euphoric freedom throughout my being that was at once inexplicable and undeniable, an ecstasy experience within every dimension: physical, mental, emotional, and of my spirit. A profound, thoughtless, formless joy that felt otherworldly, transcendent, electrified.

As my mind slowly began to turn back on, realization overcame me, of not only the astounding reality of an energetic body (of which I’d heard some teachings and felt tinges of truth), but also of the incredible sensitivity that mine held. As I flowed through this yoga class, freely embodied, graceful, and alive, the dawning and depth of my personal truth began to emerge: I could feel emotions that weren’t MINE! Sensations – actual physical pains – that weren’t mine… these years of depression, of dysfunction, of illness… what if?

What if? …

There was power here, and giftedness. There was a new understanding of my being, possibly even a new pathway to explore my way out of the suffering of the last ten years… as I danced on my mat, tears – of relief, of excitement, of discovery, of awe, of potential – streamed down my face. My view of the universe, and of myself as a pulsing, energetically receptive participant within it, began to forever change. A new era of my life had been quietly and undeniably initiated.

Over the next several years, I learned much about the empathic experience: about energetic sensitivity to the thoughts, physical experiences, and emotions of others; about energetic boundaries, and the way my body could take in toxicity. I also learned how energetically receptive I could be to HEALING. I learned about working intentionally with vibration, through the natural world, stones, sounds, and interpersonal modalities like reiki and intuitive work. I learned about alchemizing and transmuting negativity. I learned I wasn’t alone in these gifts. I learned that energetic receptivity needn’t be a curse toward constant wounding, but could be a massive blessing, and even a key to my service to the world! I learned to channel my Body Electric into a super power, one that has evolved into an often-psychic and transformative offering. Now, my Body Electric allows my yoga and chakra teachings and private soul guidance to be a radiant beacon of light, not only for me, but for those I’m blessed to serve. It’s as central to my embodied identity as my womanhood, my laugh, or my curls (and often as wildly unleashed as all three!).  

Navigating this electric dimension of self that cannot be seen, grasped, or quantified is such a mystical and mysterious journey… and so far, it’s been the most extraordinary inner adventure of my lifetime. I cannot wait to discover where else my Body Electric intends to flow!  

Join us for an hour-long New Moon Meditation Adventure on May 7th!

Online, from anywhere.

Using a dynamic meditation journey, we will tune into the New Moon, to your own Inner Guidance, synced up with wild-hearted women from around the world. This offering will include music, storytelling, meditation, journaling prompts & intention-setting.

Can’t make it live? No worries. All participants will receive a copy of the recording with 24 hours of the session.

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We have Wild Woman Project-trained Circle facilitators is 26 countries, and 44 out of the 50 United States.

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