HOWL yourself awake. {Wild Woman Initiation Series: Lesson 12}

by | Apr 18, 2019 | WILD WOMAN, WILD WOMAN INITIATION | 7 comments

About the Wild Woman Initiation Series

The Wild Woman Project came to me in a flash, a vision & it wouldn’t let me go. So, I listened. The Wild Woman archetype has been initiating me ever since. Through various experiences, which have mostly been about untangling what is true & what is not true in my own being, I have come ever closer to the wild woman within. I am a student, servant, guardian to this project who’s mission is to to awaken women to their most authentic, undomesticated nature, so they may feel like themselves, all the time, no apologies. I am sharing the 13 most important lessons I’ve learned about the path of the Wild Woman over the next few months. May it be useful.

12

 
Howl, even if it is very soft at first.
Howl to feel your belly jiggle.
Howl for all that aches.
Howl to give thanks.
Howl with your toes & your inner thighs.
 
Throw your head back
And Howl into your ecstasy!
Howl to touch down on tenderness.
Howl for those that haven’t the voice to howl.
Howl to speak to the stars.
 
Howl because your heart is beating.
Howl when you are sweaty and when you are numb.
Howl your prayers into the trees and the stones.
Howl to protect what is feral in your heart.
Howl yourself awake.
 
Howl, wild woman, Howl!
 
 
~~~
 
I was 27 the first time I held Women Who Run with the Wolves in my hands. I will never forget the place I was standing then, nor the electricity I felt move through my whole body at that pivotal moment on my path as a human, and as a woman. Without that book I wonder what I’d be doing with myself. I wonder if I would have found the cognitive architecture and specific language to understand and articulate my experiences with the wild woman, la loba, la que sabe. I will thank the great mystery that I do not have to go it on my own, that one woman, writing down her own learnings and visions and stories and dreams helped unlock my own. I will thank Dr. Estes until my days here are over for daring to sound the drum of the wild woman with such precision and soulfulness. 
 
In the 8 years that have unfurled since my first contact with the book, things have happened inside and out that I could not have predicted or even imagined. Life has continuously surprised me, all while making perfect sense, if only in retrospect. I guess that speaks to the path of the Wild Woman. 
 
I turn 35 this Sunday, that is Easter for the Christians. The celebration of the resurrection of Christ. Though I do not practice Christianity, I love the myths of resurrection. In fact, the first chapter of Women Who Run with the Wolves is titled, Howl: Resurrecting the Wild Woman. 
 
It took a few years of dancing with the Wild Woman Archetype before I actually started to howl. Maybe its because I used to live in a city and feared making too much noise. Maybe its because I fancied myself a little too sophisticated; I wasn’t that kind of wild woman. Maybe it was because it was too raucous a practice to the “peaceful” oms and Mona Lisa Smile meditation faces I was used to. Maybe I let the parts of me that wished to be pleasing, lead. Maybe my throat was tied into knots. Maybe I was scared of getting that feral.
 
I think I viewed the howl as a metaphor then, not an embodied experience. Ah, the never-ending battle between thinking about spirit and being it!
 
The first time I remember howling, it came unplanned, totally sponsateously, at Wild Woman Fest on the second year. It burst out of me, making me blush. It was deeply invigorating and other women instinctively, and without hesitation, howled back. It was a language without language. It felt good, really good. With our 6th Annual Festival coming this summer, anyone who has been will tell you, we do A LOT of howling together.
 
I howl alone too. One of the great joys of my life is going to see and feel and dance live music, and often, instead of clapping or screaming, I will howl my joy, my gratitude, my heart. Sometimes when a hard cry rumbles through me, and I can feel the piercing ache of what hurts, my wails will transform into howls. Sometimes my voice lets out a kind of howl during lovemaking. Each time I howl there is something of a surprise that comes with, as it always seems to unlock something extra, more than I bargained for, something decidedly untamed, and unpredictable. When I howl, nothing is muted. When I howl I feel. 
 
As I turn toward my 35th birthday, an auspicious one, for it is one of the increments of 7, a sacred number in mythology and mystical traditions, I sit feeling what is here now. What can I feel in my howl now?
 
What I sense here is the older I get the more surrendered I feel to the great unfolding. The younger me was more into control than I find myself now. I’m interested in creating spaciousness for life to speak to me vs. scheduling (and therefore strangling) every moment (into submission). I’m more interested in listening. I am more aware than I have ever been that all of this is temporary. That life is both resilient and vulnerable. I am aware that there is so much that I care deeply about that is far beyond my control. There is a tenderness that grows from all this which makes itself clear in my howl today. 
 
So what could be more honoring of this life, this year, this passing breath, but to howl it alive? To really feel it?
 
To howl is to admit there is no good reason to bite your lip and clinch your chest.
To howl is to say yes to what is moving through.
To howl is to sing nature’s song.
 
My howl is a racous reminder to let go and let life have me.
So, howl and howl, I will. 
 
~~~
 

Lesson 12, no matter where you are, or what others may think, take a breath in and: 

 

Unleash your hhhooooooooooooowwwwlll!!! 

 

EXPLORE THE OTHER LESSONS OF THE WILD WOMAN INITIATION SERIES

 

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7 Comments

  1. Danielle Gismondi
    Danielle Gismondi on April 19, 2019 at 7:46 am

    Awoooooooo! I love the knowing of how you were so much more contained and scheduled when you were younger! It’s so helpful for me to hear that expansion is possible. I love you so, deep in my bones.

    Reply
    • Chris Maddox
      Chris Maddox on May 9, 2019 at 9:58 am

      Oh, Love you, Danielle! And for sure it is possible! Howls and hugs! xo

      Reply
  2. Ashley
    Ashley on April 19, 2019 at 9:29 am

    Howls right back at you, love. I adore this. And recently wrote down thoughts on the same thing. ❤

    Reply
  3. Marybeth
    Marybeth on April 21, 2019 at 7:18 am

    Chris,
    Your writing is soulful and honest–and never fails to unleash a shiver of wildish delight in me! I love your description of your first contact with Women Who Run With The Wolves–it has inspired in me a desire to reflect and write about my own first experience with coming to know this beloved book.
    Thank you for all you lay bare for the other wild women to see–it’s a path that I run howling towards always.
    Happy Birthday!

    Reply
    • Chris Maddox
      Chris Maddox on May 9, 2019 at 10:05 am

      A shiver of Wildish Delight?! I am honored to be a part of such an experience! Thank you.

      So beautiful to hear that there was meaning in your first contact with WWRWTW too!

      Thank you for the Birthday Wishes, Marybeth! Much love xoxo

      Reply
      • Marybeth
        Marybeth on May 9, 2019 at 10:04 pm

        xoxo to you, too, Chris. 🙂
        And a big ole’ hooooooowwwwllllll!

        Reply

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