Happy Autumn Equinox (in the Northern Hemisphere, Happy Spring Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere)! The Autumn Equinox is one of my favorite days of the year. The Equinoxes are the two days per year where there is an equal amount of light and darkness. It feels like walking through a threshold into a new chapter of life and taking pause right under the archway. This brief pause signifying we are embodying both realms and neither all at once. A sort of portal where we float in a nebulous space before we venture into the increasing darkness as Winter approaches.
In the days after the Autumn Equinox, we will experience more and more darkness until we reach Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year. Autumn is, in many ways, the season of surrender. If we look to Nature we can see the wisdom in surrendering. The rose surrenders its petals, teaching us that just because something was beautiful doesn’t mean it must exist in that shape forever. Yet, it will likely be beautiful again. The trees surrendering their leaves, showing us how many more stars we can see through bare branches, and how much is revealed to us when we are brave enough to stand bare.
In the times of this global pandemic, when so much has been taken from us, it can feel particularly uninspiring to think of what we’d like to surrender. Yet, as a faithful congregant of the sacred wisdom of the Earth, I will step into my annual practice of surrender. This year, this practice will look very different than ever before, but then again this year life also looks different than ever before.
I invite you to journey with me, as always, making it your own. May my words serve as a spring board, not rigid directions, for your most sacred personal process.
Step One: Ritual Foreplay
As always, and I can not stress this enough, create space to prepare. This may seem gratuitous, but I promise you it is integral. This doesn’t have to take a long time, but it should be meaningful. When you take the extra moments to relax, connect to that which you consider to be sacred, remove distractions, and connect to your inner guidance: you are signaling to the deepest part of yourself that you are stepping into a different realm. You are readying yourself to communicate with a different part of life than you might usually communicate with.
For Example:
You can: silence your phone, take a bath, put on a song that is meaningful to you, sit in silence for five minutes, light a candle, anything that makes you feel ready to step into communication with a deep part of yourself.
Step Two: What Are You Surrendering?
Simply close your eyes and ask yourself, “what am I ready to surrender”? If nothing comes to you at first, there’s no need to manufacture an answer. There’s also no need for your answer to be “big” or “impressive”. Simply ask yourself this question until you hear an answer. While you listen, you might like to think of the rose surrendering its petals, or the trees surrendering their leaves, or any other examples that come to mind.
In these pandemic times, you may already be feeling empty, and if you look a little more closely you may discover something you are clinging onto simply because you feel you “should”. Now might be the time to surrender trying to convince yourself things are “normal” or that you are capable of functioning in the way you used to. The world has changed, so have you, so has your life, and that’s okay. Now, you get to decide what else can change to help support you.
In deciding what you’d like to surrender, I think it’s important to remember we are offering this with an open hand. If you think of something to surrender and your gut feeling is that it would be like ripping that thing away from yourself, perhaps it is not ripe enough to surrender. Maybe next year, or next Moon Cycle, or whenever the timing is right. Sometimes, we need to allow ourselves to stay mad/ resentful/ in grief for a while, and that’s also okay.
The most helpful illustration of how this surrender could feel is to imagine you are a fruit tree, and your branches are feeling really heavy with ripe fruit. Then, when that fruit finally falls, you feel lighter! It may be a little hard to let go of that fruit you worked so hard to grow, but you know you’re ready and you know you’ll feel lighter when you do.
Once you decide what you are surrendering, write it in a sentence that feels concise and clear to you.
For Example:
I surrender setting unrealistic expectations of myself at the expense of my well being.
I surrender trying to push away difficult feelings, and I allow myself to feel my feelings.
I surrender trying to make “this” work when I know it’s not right for me.
I surrender resentment about my past, I am ready to move towards the next phase of healing.
Step Three: Take Inspired Action
Once you have your surrender sentence, decide on one action that is meaningful to you to signify your surrender. This is a potent step because it is a way of bringing your intention into the physical world. When we take inspired action, it is a sort of birth. You are allowing an inspired thought to cross the bridge between your inner world and the outer world that we all share. This takes bravery, and can oftentimes feel challenging or emotional. It can also feel empowering and invigorating.
For Example:
You might choose to write your sentence on a piece of paper and hang it somewhere you can see it.
You might choose to write your sentence on a piece of paper and burn it.
You may decide you’d like to clear out physical items from a relationship you’re letting go of.
You may schedule time for yourself to do absolutely nothing, or articulate a boundary that you’ve needed to set.
You might even feel the right thing to do is simply to speak your intention aloud to someone you trust.
Step Four: After Care
When you’re finished, be gentle with yourself. Take some time alone. Take care of yourself. Journal a little. Reach out for support if that feels helpful. These days, the little things can feel big (and that’s totally expected). Sense into how it feels to have surrendered. What’s shifted? How do you feel having been so brave?
I’d Love to Hear From You!
How did this feel?
What was challenging?
What part was filled with ease?
Want to share your intention?
Share in the Comments Below.
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I surrender the tight hold of worry I hold, as I see my husband change with age (he is in his 70s). I release the need to watch him like a “hawk” and comment on when he slightly stumbles or drags a foot. I release the stress this worry has put on my shoulders. I release the internal fight I have with myself over this. I release the need to keep things from changing. I release the view of seeing the aging process as a negative.
Tina, what deep, powerful, and challenging work. Thank you so much for your vulnerable share. A beautiful intention. Sending you waves of support. 🍂 ♥️
This article was a lovely read. I feel a gentle nudge towards self care and growth. Ty Amanda and blessings be to all our sisters rising 💫
Thank you so much Lynne. Autumn Blessings to you! Yes… nudging you towards self care, certainly. Give yourself a hug from me, please! 💕 😘
I love the image of a tree dropping its ripened fruit. Releasing something that has taken time and energy to grow, but that is now ready to be surrendered. It makes me reflect on how my role as a mother has changed over the years as my children grow older and more capable, more independent. They still depend on me but it is clear our relationship is changing…and it’s beautiful.
I will surrender, once again, to this journey of motherhood and embrace every moment…even the moments where I have to let go. I will encourage my children explore the world and fill it with their own unique light.
Thank you for this lovely ritual. It is what my soul needed today.
Teresa, thank you for your share. I can only imagine the continued deep journey that is Motherhood, and I commend you for being committed to every movement of the process. So glad the fruit tree image and this Ritual were helpful to you. 🙏 ♥️
I surrender my belief that I am not good enough
I surrender my need to always be right
I surrender to the unknown
I surrender to love
Beautiful Molly. Thank you so much for your vulnerable share. Sending you big love. <3
I surrender the habit of overriding my body’s requests and desires
🍂🍁🏳
Ahhh such a simple concept, but sometimes very challenging. Thank you so much for sharing. Supporting you on this journey.
This was a beautiful ritual and just what I needed at this stage of my journey.
I surrender feeling responsible for ‘carrying’ all of my creative projects, even when I know it’s time to let them go.
Thank you for this & Happy Autumn Equinox, Sister! 🤗
So glad it was helpful. YES! Sometimes our projects are so hard to let go of, aren’t they? Sending you hugs and support on your journey. Thank you for sharing! Autumn Blessings to you! 🍁
Amanda – thank you for the guidance. I really enjoyed the foreplay of a long hot shower with essential oils on my body, lighting my candle and setting up my altar. I chose to create a collage with magazine clippings, pulled an oracle card and then found a fall Equinox
playlist on Spotify to listen to as I meditated on what I was surrendering or balancing as this is equinox fall in Libra.
What came up was…
I am releasing my old business identify completely as well as unconscious eating. I am honoring natural time as a way to balance with a focus on spiritual unfoldment.
Many howls and love to you and our community!
Pamela, your foreplay sounds amazing! What a beautiful gift you gave yourself to really take your time! How wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing what came up for you. Hands at your back as you continue to unfold this Autumn. Sending you howls and love right back. ♥️
Mmm this was so needed. Thank you for sharing this.
I am surrendering this false idea that I always need to be ‘doing’ to be successful.
I am surrendering my fear of feeling my darkest emotions.
I am surrendering my fear of getting close to people and having deep friendship.
I am surrendering my fear of how powerful I truly am.
I am surrendering my fear of reaching out for support and being vulnerable.
Makenzy, so powerful. Thank you so much for your vulnerable share. What a beautiful and brave surrender. Sending you support and Autumn Blessings. 🍁
Amanda, this was a powerful and apt prompt with the emotional circumstances coming up for me in my own life (synchronicities are fun). Thank you for sharing this ritual.
I release the resentment behind the “failures” of the relationship I ended earlier in the spring (for in hindsight, these were powerful teacher moments about myself).
I surrender to the reality that THAT specific chapter with my ex was ultimately closed not only out of wanting the best for myself and for him, but also knowing my heartbreaking decision came from a place of love.
I release my grip on the image of us I’d stubbornly clung to for years.
I release the anger I held toward him and myself for not meeting expectations I’d set for our relationship.
I release expectations about what a perfect relationship between him and I look like.
I release the need to influence his life or force him to bend to any ideas I might have of who his best self is.
I release the idea I have in my head about not my being “enough” to be worthy of love.
I release the guilt I feel for “walking away/ giving up” on “us”.
As a note (I don’t know whether this is over sharing, so sorry) I had the opportunity to reach mutual closure with him earlier this week after many months of silence. We were able to laugh about our toxic romantic dynamic. He thanked me for trying as hard for us as I had (which is something I didn’t know I needed to hear from him specifically until after he said it). He admitted that this extremely painful choice I made was ultimately a healthy one. All of this was what I was telling myself again and again all spring and summer, so it was remarkably validating. We exchanged a very powerful set of “I love you’s” with no conditions or agendas attached to them, no expectations of getting back together, which is perhaps only the second time in my life I’ve been able to live in a space of unconditional love to this magnitude. I pray this experience teaches me how to extend that unconditional love out to more of my relationships.
I only felt called to share because (and forgive me, as I’m still processing), after that night, the catharsis brought me a massive sense of peace with things, though there is still pain I’m not ready to release yet. I felt lighter than I had in months, and didn’t realize I’d still been carrying so much until after I could let it all out. I hold SO much gratitude for this relationship. Both of us had a lot of love to give to one another, but neither of us could find a deep way to receive it from each other. Breaking up with him was perhaps one of the most agonizing decisions I’ve ever had to make, and I understand how rare it is to end a partnership so cordially, which only further deepens my gratitude. After the release, what I found at the bottom of myself, all that was left of everything, was just Love. And tears. Tons of those.
Bailee, thank you so much for sharing your story (and such a vulnerable one at that). Reading your share and being let into your experience is a privilege that I cherish. I can certainly relate to so much of what you shared, as I’m sure so many of us here can. It sounds like you have had some potent discoveries, which I suspect you will continue to process and uncover many more treasures along this journey. Hands at your back as you continue walking this path. One day at a time, what a brave surrender. Deeply thankful that this Recipe could be of service to you. Sending you Blessings. ✨