Before we talk about this whole Self-Love thing (our new theme of the month). I must address the #1 block I experience, personally, and see in the women I work with:
We are painfully afraid that if we actually love ourselves, we will become egomaniacs.
This incredibly common illusion really fires me up. Translation: makes me want to pull my hair out + kinda pisses me off.
I’m not mad at any one person (not you or me or anyone) for it, just frustrated because it is so clearly BS that has been passed down & it keeps us so small. And I don’t want smallness for you. I want fullness and expansion and radiance.
Let’s look closely here.
Self-love does not happen on the surface. It’s not about ego. It’s deeper than that.
What moves us to love, really? Think of someone you love the most in the world. What do you love about them?
It is likely what you love is NOT superficial stuff. What calls forth deep love from you is not their super hot bod, how much they have accomplished or how many twitter followers they have.
What we love about the people we love is this: we’ve been through the trenches with them & have really seen them. We know their “weaknesses”, have been witness to their triumphs. We’ve seen them with tears in their eyes, ready to give up. We’ve seen them burst through finish lines with pride beaming from every cell. And my goddess, aren’t they beautiful? We lurve them. We luff them.
Your love and belief in them provides soul food for you both. This earth school can be HARD and it is truly miraculous to have someone rooting for you. And, of course, it feels good TO LOVE someone. If feels so much better, for example, than judging them (for all parties involved).
It’s pretty clear that truly loving relationships with other people are awesome. So it would only make sense that a truly loving relationship with ourselves would be rad, right?
(Photo by Jose Manuel Arguelles)
I will go a step further: The relationship that will define the quality of your life is the relationship you have with yourself.
Now why is it, that when we think of SELF Love, alarm bells go off in our heads???
“ALERT, ALERT! EGO ALERT!”
I find that women (myself included) are petrified of being thought of as an egocentric. Which, by the way, is ironic to me because so many women I meet have enormous amounts of insecurity, shame & sometimes debilitating low confidence.
So what the hell are we so afraid of? There are so many levels of self-confidence between where we are now and where we fear we’ll go. The idea that troops of overbearing-egomaniac-divas will emerge from our self-love is total myth.
I say this with love: you got a long way to on the ego train, mama. So let’s relax the fear of being narcissists, shall we? We can’t make the voice of judgment go away but we can stop letting it boss us around.
Falling in love with ourselves is just as, if not more, romantic & elevating as when we fall in love with others. This is the secret focus of the work I do in workshops: holding space for women to fall deeply in love with themselves (mind, body, spirit).
I want you to have access to the tremendous power & joy that comes with loving yourself.
The first step is to drop fears of narcissism and let yourself actually start the process.
If you are in or near NYC, I hope your will join me Next Saturday March 23rd, 1-4pm. We will be exploring The Audacity of Self-Love (Mind, Body & Spirit). It is here, in the room, that the magic really happens. If the ideas of self-loving/self-judgment really hit home for you, come. Reserve your spot & take a leap of love for yourself.
If NYC is far away, no worries. I will be bringing you more reflections and guidance on these topics in the weeks to come.
Dare to start loving yourself, wild one. We will all be stronger for it.
With Mad love and kisses,
C
P.S: I’m not making this stuff up, everyday I post quotes on Facebook & Twitter from a diverse array of “experts” and smarty-pants’ who believe this very thing. (If you don’t already, follow us and get realigned everyday.)
P.P.S- Do you know someone who would benefit from this post? Please share it via Social Media or email. Here’s the Link: https://thewildwomanproject.com/2013/03/myth-loving-yourself-makes-you-a-narcissist-oye/
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How to stop importing blog posts on facebook? ‘Stop importing’ button is not found.?
My thoughts exactly!